Today I finally went to pick up my name seal. I was really excited (and still am since I spent years thinking about getting one) but a small comment and other things have dampened my feelings a little. When I went with my liaison, I knew that since she worked as an English teacher it wouldn't be fair to expect her to be highly knowledgeable about something like name seals. It's not her job and not what she trained for. After all, part of the pull in learning about another language and its culture(s) is studying a world different from your own. (It makes me think of reading Pico Iyer whenever he describes the dreams that Westerners bring to Asia and vice versa.) I just didn't realize how out of depth the adventure would be until she insisted that we not find something so expensive and "just get one for 10 kuai". I took her to the one shop where they didn't make and sell only name seals. I'm happy to have met someone who extended an invitation to learn about Chinese culture in his shop but after getting the reaction of one man who told me that it was poorly made (when I wanted something special) I was a little sad. On the other hand, it's mine and I can't say that it's not what I wanted: something unique from my time in Zhuzhou that has something of myself and something of China. My name in Chinese and an animal that represents both the year of my birth and my first Chinese new year here. Even if this isn't work done by the greatest carver in Zhuzhou, he is still a good painter and a kind man. His shop was the only place selling seals while kids painted inside and it was the only one where I was comfortable telling him I was American and trying to learn Chinese. I guess there's time until next year to save up for a really nice one from the man who does a very particular style (and it's pretty clear from the minute you see his shop and his work that it's a very special kind of art). I'll try not to focus too much on that one comment and focus instead on the ideas that drove me to wait until I came to Zhuzhou to buy a seal. The man who carved it wasn't there when I went to pick it up, but two people were there who offered me a seat and some tea. I said no, but I feel like I should go back and give him some fruit to share with his family and students as a way of recognizing the kind offer he made (that I plan to take him up on). It just seems like the most acceptable move. Food is one of the easier ways to build relationships here. It makes me think of the origins for the word "company" in English: the idea that the people you work with are close enough that you share bread with each other. Here, it's a lot of invitations to lunch or dinner. Anyway, here's the picture below. I think it's cool that he has these cards with his business information and space where he can stamp and show you the final end product of his work. Knowing it took him a whole week to do this keeps me from being too critical of his work and knowing that he wants to share what he knows does kind of make this seal the beginning of my relations with "shi fu" as I call him in my head. Besides, I wanted to fill this with meanings so I guess there's nothing more true of who I am right now than a roughly carved stone. There is much to learn still about China (like if you really can get bugs in your hair by walking through the rain without an umbrella) and as a foreigner my Chinese manners are pretty unnuanced and unrefined. I still remember watching Raz quietly moving around a table and toasting people who had organized an event, a gesture they appreciated that in my year here I hadn't really grasped. All I can really say when drinking is "Gan bei"/"Empty cup" with a ton of other people. What Raz must know and pick up on after living here for 13 years is something I plan to look out for when I run into him next year. Talking to him comes pretty easy after seeing how excited he gets when people ask him about what brought him to China and what he's seen. I wonder how many people actually do ask him. I honestly don't know many people who stay beyond 5 years.
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So this week is the final one (sort of). The zhongkao (the first of the two big tests Chinese students and parents invest so much into, the high school entrance exam) is this week and the test itself takes two days. The school will also close for a day so they can completely examine the school for any devices or things that may be used for cheating. My liaison said we'd have Thursday and Friday to teach but my kids say "one day of classes" so I guess it's just Friday? To make up for the time lost when the school is hosting the exam, the kids had classes on Saturday and Sunday. I actually got a bus on Sunday morning from Changsha to catch my classes and chase down the last class that still had a sizeable numbers of students who had not finished the exam. Now I have maybe 10 stragglers from different classes: 1 here, 2 there, 3 in another class, 1 in class 3, and 5 in class 7...which is a pain because I can't put my notebooks away until I catch them all. My conscience won't allow me to rest if I just sit back and make no effort to find students during lunch or breaks. So while I rushed to catch my Sunday classes, there was no way I was going to make the Saturday classes. They didn't even tell me about the make up days until Thursday even though I told them I'd be leaving on Friday evening to get out to Changsha for the end of service conference. I thought about saying no to the Sunday classes so I could just go out all night without worrying but I got nervous about finishing things up so I agreed to do Sunday classes. The end of service conference is nice, a great way to wrap up, see where everyone is going, and prepare for going back home (they even talked about reverse culture shock and preparing for the various questions people are likely to ask about China and teaching there). We learned the results of the media submissions contest (videos, photos, pieces of writing and such that people worked on about their time here). It was a time to relax and see people, to reflect, and enjoy one last day together as a group. We all had individual "yearbook pages" with our photos for everyone to sign and send good wishes. We also all received gifts of simple mugs with the WorldTeach China logo on one side and our name and the name of our school on the other. It's pretty cool and an excellent complement to the Swiss mug I received as a gift in Italy last year. There are about 10 of us coming back to China, though only two of us (myself included) are staying with WorldTeach for a second year. It will be good to see my students again, though I realize too that a lot of people who know that I could earn more independent of the WorldTeach program and its requirements to complete teaching modules, monthly wellness forms, and to submit lesson plans are probably thinking it's crazy. I like hearing my students talk more each week and I guess that's its own reward. It's kind of hard to encapsulate that whole day right now. We had some show and tell sessions in which we talked about an object that was meaningful and related to our time in China. Here is mine: Back in December, I did a shopping related lesson and made fake money. I tried to ask the students what they needed in order to go shopping. Answers included "Trousers", "fruit", and "I need to buy a notebook" at which point I would draw various currency symbols or pull out my fake money to get someone to shout the magic word. I chose it because I felt it encapsulated pretty well that I enjoy my students, and that they seem to enjoy me and have a lot of fun. However, drawing pictures of your teacher in class when you're supposed to be listening to your classmates isn't quite what I wanted. So they don't do everything I want, as I want them to but the relationship is there. And I find it an intensely amusing picture too. My students loved the chance to talk about money, being asked how much you make is common to everyone here, and I have no doubt that my students think I'm pretty well off after looking at my computer ("Oooh i7!!") and seeing the cost of a children's picture book. I almost brought chopsticks for the novelty that is being asked if I like Chinese food even this many months into my time here.
We wrapped up with a final dinner at a nearby restaurant that we simply call "the Mao" because of all the images of the Chairman that are there as well as his most famous poem, "Changsha" being printed on the back wall. I'm not sure what it's actually called in Chinese. We ate well, the steamed eggs weren't such a big hit but I was surprised by how thick it was. I actually managed to eat it with my chopsticks after putting some into my bowl and it held together. It was a lot of our favorites, stir fried enoki mushrooms, cabbage and peppers, pork and peppers, eggplant with green beans and peppers, pickled turnip (with a few red peppers but it was more sweet than spicy and a good way to take a break between dishes), tofu with celery, peppers, green onions and other essentials, and a few deep fried taro balls. There were no peppers in the taro balls. The department of education was supposed to eat with us but something came up so it was just us. A lot of us still dressed on the nicer side anyway. I wound up breaking off the from the group after they left to go to a place called Mega (where I've never been) and walked back towards the hostel with the director and assistant field director and talked about the academic pressures I went through in middle and high school and what I saw at my school here. I also talked about the difficulties in talking about different strategies with teachers who really want to improve their skills (and their students' scores) and frequently hearing "and then they memorize it?" While I think rote memory has its value, you need to pair it with skills that require practicing a process. When I was taking AP classes, we had to know the information, we had to know the contexts and dates and things but we also spent time practicing on old test questions and going through how to form a thesis statement and pull together various documents into an essay. Here, the teachers say they try to guess this year's questions and make students memorize stuff about that question. Though I see why they might do that, I would also imagine that's rather unhelpful since no one should know what is on the test before it comes out so students need to know how to actually read and listen rather than recite. Or they'll just get lost in the mass of words in front of them. I talked about how a student at my high school (years before I started) had called someone in Taiwan about the AP US history test and took advantage of the time difference to learn about the essay questions. A teacher gasped, but then she told me that they try to call people in America who take the TOEFL the day before they have it in China and ask about the questions. I struggled to bite back my tongue and ask if that wasn't also cheating. It's so hard, I know that this is the norm in China and in my position I can push my students to think differently but I still struggle with the extreme to which people use rote memory here. And then I just feel Americans get so heated about the impact that putting so much pressure on young students has on them. I don't like it, it's not nice, and I sense that many people say "That's not fair" in China but I could also see the argument that these arguments against all that pushing is easier when you have a degree and money. It's not as if I haven't been to college and thought "Hey, the view is a bit different here than it was before" but my life experiences are also quite different. I may be familiar with academic pressure, but it was less a matter of getting into high school and college than it was whether you got into the very good college. Going to college for most wasn't a question. You were going to do it, and pretty much all teacher had Masters degrees so you can guess how that can contribute to silent expectations. No one says it's wrong or right, but you don't see what else is out there or the other paths people take either. It is nice to be somewhere where education is highly valued though. I just wish there was a way to better balance what China has to offer with what America has to offer. I've been frustrated too with the way other teachers have been walking all over me and my class to get stuff done. I realize they don't have any concept of what is it I'm doing for the most part, but it still hurts to have someone walk in and say "You're just testing right? My students want to talk about ____. Is that OK?" I said yes and became a shadow in my own classroom, thoroughly frustrated and uneasy as I realized that teacher taught the period before mine and should have just used her own class for her own needs, not mine. Teachers say my class is important, but "actions speak louder than words", as they teach their students. They can say important if they want, constantly asking me to have class at another time or to step aside for the singing contest or their own pet projects tells me something else. Aside from frustrations, I'm about to get my name seal tomorrow. It's finished, and I can't wait to see what it looks like. That and with the school closed, I can rest. Maybe I'll even go back to Changsha for a bit to make up for having to run out on Sunday morning to get my morning classes. But I also heard that we may have dinner "either on Tuesday or Thursday" which would obviously change things. They may tell me to come to dinner the day of so I hesitate to plan anything for my free days right now though I sorely want to take the time I have left with some of the other teachers and just enjoy myself. We shall see how things work out. Now that I have a better idea of how this whole teaching thing works too I'll feel much freer to wander out on the weekends and spend time in Changsha to see everyone. I tend to just sleep in in my apartment, take myself on a walk at least once a day, and worry about my lessons on Sunday night. I'll post a picture of my name seal tomorrow after I've had a good look at it. I'm really excited both to finally get something special from Zhuzhou and to see the name seal shifu again though my Chinese is so limited. My last post was a mere two days ago but since this weekend was the one where I resolved to get my name seal, I decided to record the experience while it's still fresh. This is actually my second attempt to post but due to internet issues and weird things with weebly, it got lost in the ether somewhere.
Anyway, I ventured out on Saturday after lunch to look around and wandered. I was kind of intimidated by the attention I got and since I had read a lot about name seals in English but didn't know much about what to say in Chinese. After a few walks around and a venture down DaPing Lu to find a bunch of tea shops, I finally decided to ask my liaison to come with me which I've avoided doing partly because she has a daughter in Changsha that she only sees on the weekends. To my surprise, she actually agreed to come the very next day when she was done teaching classes. I had just asked her if there was a good day to go together because I assumed she would be away, but I guess with the high school entrance exam coming up she had to teach classes on Sunday morning as well as Monday-Saturday. So we agreed to meet when she was done teaching. We left at about 11:30 together. Actually, I’ve never really asked her to come with me for much of anything. I tend to look up words on my own or move on my own. She goes shopping with the other foreign teacher a lot but since I’ve never been too into all the clothes (they’re fun to look at, but wearing and using them is something else for me). She said she was actually happy to help in this case since she spends so much time trying to think of what might interest us around here and my inviting her allowed her to see some of my interest. She also took on the job of liaison to improve her English so there’s that aspect as well. Here I am at the end of my first week of June and my first week of testing. Well, I lost out on my Monday classes because of the singing contest. Which was fun, but also puts me behind schedule. I was also told this past week that because they are hosting the zhongkao at my school that there may not be classes the week of the 15th and 16th so it's likely that I will spend this next week going to each class during lunch or during their self study time to make up for having lost two class periods. I also learned that though the school told me to turn my grades in by the 20th, that didn't actually mean I could leave, but no one was willing to say that to my face (I guess). The closest hint I got when I said I booked a flight on the 22nd was "Why are you leaving? Where are you going? When will you be back?". I guess they assumed we'd stick around for another week after turning in grades. I feel bad. Maybe I should have confirmed when I could leave instead of assuming that done testing=done teaching. It's just that last term the other teachers were all ready to take my class and use it for themselves, to the point where I had to tell them I wasn't done yet and needed my class. I assumed that things would be the same when I tested at the end of this term which is partly why I gave myself an extra week for everything, so I could actually say goodbye and wrap things up and then get on my flight with my grades turned in. The other teacher was surprised too and told our liaison that to be more clear with future teachers about these kinds of things and to say that they may still be needed after testing in June. Since she's still going to be here to travel in China, they asked her to stay the week after she turns in her grade and play a movie or play a game with a class. Nothing serious, they just need her to watch the students and fill time while the other teachers have a meeting. Which seems pretty annoying to me so I feel bad but clearly they have no use for me aside from warming a seat if I stay. I guess they changed some things too with foreign teachers so the liaison is having a little trouble getting stuff done. I feel bad for causing so much trouble. I made plans and can't be faulted I guess, but I still feel guilty. I haven't heard anything on jobs for the summer either. I actually found a position teaching English for a summer but you need the TEFL, which I don't have. I guess I could try the online route again but I feel better doing it through WorldTeach given that the concepts in other programs are more or less the same (keep lessons student centered, keep things engaging, create an objective, build students toward independent work etc) and here I have the hands on experience as well as all the modules I need to complete. And I've finally decided that this is the weekend when I will get my name seal. I've been rehearsing so that I can ask for what I want and I don't have much time left. This past week has been tough because there's only so much I can do, it's up to the students to push through the exams. In the meantime, I've just been filling in the excel sheet with student information that I created after the school gave us a class roster. I even plugged in all the formulas and everything so that there really is nothing I can do until the students are done testing and I have their scores to input. Then the column labeled "Grade" will change and I just need to copy the grades onto another document and send it in to the school. I'm not sending in my excel sheet this time since it caused trouble last time and they wanted to know how I did grades and told us (at the end of the term) that we should do our grades in the same way. Everytime I say I'm stressed, the other teachers tell me not to be. I don't think they realize how quickly things can pile up in my position and that I won't even be in China after June 22nd. That complicates things. I'll be in Kyoto taking cooking lessons, sleeping in temples and a ryokan, and trying to find a bathhouse because while traveling is fun, I'm looking for things at a slower pace than the speed it takes me to test 700+ adolescent students. Tea, temples, and baths sounds great after that. I'm also kind of interested in something else I read about Kyoto. Since Kyoto was pretty much Japan's capital up until the 19th century, it supposedly shows a lot of influence from those times when Japanese monks and scholars traveled to China to learn about religion, philosophy, and the writing system (and chopsticks if a show I watched is to be believed). So it's actually laid out like the Tang dynasty capital, Xi An which I meant to go to this year. I guess I get to compare architecture when I actually make my way out there. I realize it's been a while since I posted any pictures, so I'll include a few below to wrap things up. I actually need to find an object by the end of this week too that encapsulates my time in China. I can't decide if I want to bring one of my student's pictures of me (for all the times I really enjoyed working with them but wished they were doing the work they were supposed to) or a pair of chopsticks for the novelty of hearing students ask me if I like Chinese food. Finished my last week before finals. I hate testing but it's part of the job, it's tough though when you see your classes for 40 minutes once a week and then they have events going on or music practice or other things. It's easy to feel unappreciated even when most of the time it's that your class gets caught up in the sweep of things. It's just that a day off is a bigger deal to me as someone who sees classes on a weekly as opposed to daily basis. I've definitely gotten angry when I shouldn't have and perhaps allowed my classes to be moved when I should have pushed against it. But here I am pushing on and getting things done to have the residence permit and work stuff in my hands before I leave. Though I get frustrated and think of Homer Simpson responding to the question "Do you like kids?" by saying "What all the time? Even when they're nuts?" I also try to remember why I want to come back next year (more confidence, intensely rewarding, enthusiastic students, and very talented students to top it off). Testing will be hard, but I know how to speed things a little. And I have one class that still doesn't know what the test is going to be so I will need to use this week to tell them and possibly be a week behind schedule but I gave myself three weeks for testing in case of emergency so hopefully we'll get it all done.
Otherwise, it's been browsing through taobao for XXXL clothes, marathoning tv shows, and reading "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". I also found a "Three Kingdoms Podcast" which has been useful because I can read and go back and listen to someone summarize the chapter for 30 minutes. It's interesting, and it's a classic that has influenced things from Chinese opera to expressions used in the Chinese language but it's also a huge book that spans 100 years from the collapse of the Han dynasty to the three kingdoms period to the beginning of the Jin. Which also means having to track a lot of officials, ministers, warriors, rebels, battles, and adopted sons. It's hard for me to keep up with who's related to who and how long each character lasts in the story. I remember Liu Bei partly because of his description. If a book spends that much time describing a tall man with huge ears (which suggests wisdom) and good sense, then he's probably important. Then there's Dong Zhuo who takes out the Han emperor and puts in the Chenliu prince and takes charge of things from there, the people who fight against him, and then the battles that ensue as coalitions fight against each other. Again, there's only a handful of characters I can keep straight. I did feel quite accomplished though when I turned on the tv and was able to recognize some of the figures they talk about on "Wen Ming Zhi Lu"/"The History of Civilization". And then I finally sat down to watch "Farewell My Concubine" and recognized a few names (the movie's title comes from the opera the characters perform at different times). That was not an easy movie to watch, which isn't surprising considering everything that happened during the 20th century here but it was very interesting. The author of "Farewell My Concubine" sounds pretty interesting too actually. I read somewhere that she works on movies to reach as many people as possible, since books are limited to those who can read. Outside of school and reading and tv, I had to replace the lock on my door (again). I was dumb enough to forget my keys inside and I never gave the school my new keys but they didn't believe me and had me test the ones they had. They didn't work so we called the locksmith. I also forgot about a lunch I'd agreed to and had to run off and put off meeting with the locksmith until after lunch. So basically, I left my apartment at about 10 in the morning and got back in at 17:00. I'm kind of exhausted from all the running around and I had to go back to Changsha for my medical certificate. I decided to forgo using my movie voucher. It's a free movie, sure, but all I wanted was rest. I really don't want to do testing, but I want it done and over with since that is part of the job. I may or may not have class tomorrow with the children's day things going on. I can't believe I'm at my last month and I feel so unprepared. I haven't looked at whether I'll need a second suitcase or not. My sitemate laughs when I worry but even if it's less than what others have, it's still baggage and still stuff I have to carry. I hate having things that I have to carry. I hate baggage. But I'm sure it will work out somehow. It won't be comfortable though. I've never really traveled with more than one suitcase and my violin, occasionally another bag I can wear on my back or strap onto myself somehow. However I feel, the fact remains that I will need to clear out my apartment somehow. I'm excited about Japan, but less so about dragging stuff around Japan. It'll be a well-deserved break and I hope I can actually wrap up my class and ask them about the things they learned instead of testing them and running off. It's the last push and I have so much to do, I just need to keep myself together as everything closes up. Tomorrow marks the last day of teaching before testing begins. I hope I've been clear enough and hope my kids understand what's going to happen. On the other hand, if they've been reading comic books in my class and I've been posing the same questions for more than one class then there isn't much more I can do. I'll be available at school for more hours but otherwise, it's going to be up to them. I also get paid in full for the last time tomorrow. I have one last half stipend remaining that WorldTeach will pay to me. Rather than give us a full stiped at the end of our time, they split up one month's stipend so that we each received 1500 before leaving for our schools and they give us 1500 at the end when our plans may not involve coming back to China. It makes sense.
I overspent by 17 RMB but I know it'll be easy to make up for it with the remaining stipend and my time here. I have an excel sheet of expected expenses and set up formulas so that I could get an estimate of what it looks like in JPY, RMB, and USD. It was a little startling to find out that it's about 19 Japanese yen to 1 Chinese yuan and see that it's likely I'll be spending 100 RMB a day if I go out for two simple restaurant meals. That could feed me for a week! But I did save to go traveling so again, it's just going to what I meant for it to go to. This past week wasn't too exciting. Lots of anxious kids or kids who just weren't listening when I talked about the exam. We were told partway through the week that the English Corner we were supposed to do on Friday for the school's advertisements wasn't happening after all. I'm not wholly sure what happened or why, but we had to go to another school in the afternoon and teach a class so now there are least 3 classes that I haven't had the chance to talk to about their exams. At first it didn't seem unlike other things I'd done before, except that I had less warning and it was less clear why exactly I was going and doing this. I think the school just told my liaison we had to do it as part of some partnership between schools but didn't give her much information and in turn, she wasn't able to tell us much either. I was told to just bring the lesson I used before in teaching at different schools in Zhuzhou county, then when I got on the bus I was told I would actually only have twenty minutes to teach or play a game ("What will you be doing then? Game or lesson?"), then we found out that both the foreign teachers would share a class. When we arrived in the classroom, we discovered it was all grades. There was a meeting celebrating partnership between our school and the one we were visiting and it became increasingly obvious that Friday afternoon was all about "guangxi", building relations. The meeting clued me into that, but I couldn't hear my liaison translating what was going on since she was sitting on the other side of my sitemate. The dinner, the basketball game, the beer and toasting, and the appearance of cigarette packs and baijiu made it more obvious. Finally, one of the teachers from our school introduced us to his uncle, who worked in the area and we found out that that teacher taught there before working at our school. While the dinner was delicious, the food was fresh, the people were nice, the students were fun and very enthusiastic and I had a good time, I also didn't care much for the idea that the foreign teachers had just been tossed into a bargain without really knowing why and never being asked about it (though I get that from the school's perspective, we're a resource and they're just sharing with another school that isn't very well off). I think guangxi showed its less savory side when I realized I would be one of three women riding on a bus back to Zhuzhou city now filled with louder men smelling of beer, baijiu, and cigarettes. I also received a packet of cigarettes which I'll probably gift to the school security guards. Did I mention that the bus had to pull over at one point so that a few teachers could run out and pee by the road after all the toasting? Again, not the worst day but certainly a strange one for me. I did feel a little annoyed that the other teachers didn't really have to do any teaching themselves, just us, the foreign teachers that they are lucky to have. I'm a little stressed and it looks like I'll need to run to Changsha on Thursday to take a medical exam so that I can renew my visa. I'll also need two passport photos. I can't find mine and they were in terrible shape after going through the wash. I asked my liaison if she knew a place I could do new ones but she didn't seem to understand that I wanted new ones even though she said she knew a place. She told me I already had photos and shouldn't bother. I told her again that my photos were not good and I needed new ones. I was told not to worry again. I may need to move on my own. Hopefully I can make it back in time to teach Thursday afternoon and not miss my classes. If I stay in Changsha overnight and run back for my 4PM class I think it's feasible. I know I need to move fast to get everything done right and have that permit back in my passport. There is much to be done before I can simply relax in Kyoto, city of 10,000 (or so) temples... My school is on the list of schools receiving a foreign teacher next year so I'm coming back.
So we're getting into the final stretch where I'm pushing students to prepare for their English test and trying simplify as much as possible. The fewer, the shorter, the better. Or kids will feel overwhelmed with text. One step at a time.
In other news, I booked my rooms for Japan but may need to shuffle things a bit. I meant to sign up for a cooking class but it seems that the one I really wanted is booked up/unavailable for the dates I wanted. It's OK. It was a fun idea but it's not as big to me as being in Kyoto. Maybe I'll find a spot for tea ceremony instead. I've seen a little in China, but it's quite different since China and Japan have different histories. Japan's tea ceremony supposedly has its roots back in the Song dynasty here when it was popular to drink tea in bowls and grind up powder. But after time in Japan, it changed to fit the context of Japan and the dynasties that followed had their own cultures and came to value different aspects of tea. You also see changes in the cups and pots over time because of the different things each period wanted to highlight (ie enjoying the color of green tea is easier to do with a white cup than a green or black cup). In other news, I went back to Nanyue with the 9th grade teachers who prayed to various Buddhas for different needs (and especially for luck as the 9th grade students go on to take their high school entrance exams). I hadn't actually seen Nanyue Temple itself, so it was nice to float through the gardens and stop to look in on various Buddhas. I was a bit confused at times since I saw Yin and Yang which I think of Taoist, but I also know that religion here in China isn't exclusive in the same way it is in the West. Confucianism, Taoism, and Buddhism are considered the big three in terms of the philosophy/religion that shaped Chinese culture and it's more coexistence than rivalry. Speaking of Buddhism, this past week Modi came to China and I was a little surprised to see on the new that he was not in Beijing, but in Xi An. Then again, it is a city with a special significance for Chinese-Indian ties. As the capital of the Tang dynasty, this is where Xuan Zang/Hsuan Tsang/Tripitaka started his trip out to India with Pigsy and the Monkey King to retrieve the sacred scrolls. It's been a while since I last read Journey to the West (or Monkey, as one translation calls the story), I'm probably more familiar with the Stephen Chow film which has grown on me over time even though it's pretty crazy. My weekend took a coincidentally Buddhist turn the same weekend China received a representative of the land where Buddhism comes from. I still think I smell incense on my clothes. Hearing the loud bangs of firecrackers going off as people toss their packets to tell the Buddha that they are coming is still ringing in my ears as is the sight of a huge pile of burning incense and other things. I've seen them before, but I don't think I've stood so close before. It made me a little nervous to see a man with a straw broom pushing things into the pile even though there was water all over the ground around that part of the temple. It was a pretty large temple too, it was impressive. When I'd done a survey of the gardens and the different Buddhas, I hung out in one of the shops and watched a puppy chew on a little boy before they both ran out to walk around the temple. It was fun to see the boy coaxing the puppy over a step at a time "Lai. Lai. Lai." ("Come. Come. Come.") This week is going to be tough, both to keep kids in line and to get the test information to them in a clear and accessible manner. We'll get there somehow. I'm just tired, and my allergies kick in and everyone thinks I'm sick. It's well-intentioned but also really frustrating and a little patronizing to hear "I'll make hot water. I'ts really just for you." or other things people do to to help when you know it's not a cold and drinking water feels good but solves nothing. This isn't the worst my allergies have been, but it's still a pain to get up and see nice flowers and be both excited and disgusted. This week, I had the kids write a short story. I want them all to have a story, then to use that story to make a skit so to ensure that they did just that I added incentive by telling them that if I didn't have their stories, I would take 5 points from their exam. I still don't think I have more than half of the class turning in stories. I wonder if it's hard to understand, but then I see people copying stories onto a sheet of paper or reading and talking when I'm teaching and realize they deserve to face some consequence for flat out not listening or caring. But the stories have been fun. Sometimes they are very simple, sometimes the students really have fun with them. One class asked about the word count and I had to tell them there is no word count. As long as they have the 4 things I ask for, they can keep it as short as they want. They seemed really happy that I just wanted something short. I was impressed by one girl who wrote about a woman with a magic mirror, the more she looked, the more beautiful she became, but then she became unrecognizable to her family and friends. One story literally ended with a bang. One of my example problems was "zombies in Zhuzhou" so that was a popular story as was a pig/person/cat having no friends. While I'm sad that so many students have basically shot themselves in the foot by not caring, getting a B on the exam won't kill them either.
A student asked if I know "Mr. Black" who is supposedly going to teach English here. But I know nothing about it. People are still applying to teach here and the department of education has to make final decisions on the schools receiving teachers too. So either they're bringing in someone on a private contract or they're talking about Mr. Li, a current English teacher (his last name is a word that can mean "many" or "black"). Who knows? I was also told that I need to think of what I want next year in case I cannot come back to my current school. I want to because I enjoy the students, and yet if they're bored of me now and giving me trouble...eh, I need to be much stricter anyway. It's a little sad to think of the possibility that my school may not have a teacher next year, but I don't know anything right now. I don't count the time I have. I know what lessons I need to do and I focus on doing them since I laid out my plans back in February. My time to say goodbye will come when it comes. It's another one of those times when I don't think about how fast or slow time moves, when I don't ask for it to go faster or slow down partly because I know it will do what it will. Asking for it to change its pace is irrational and a waste of time. Time will not change for me so I need to change for time. In other news, I wondered why ChinesePod has not had any updates so I went looking. I wasn't sure if it was a long hiatus like before or not, but now it looks like some of the podcasts I enjoyed for free became part of the paid for content on their website. On the bright side, I downloaded and saved them before they were removed from iTunes so I can still use stuff like "KTV Time" that I couldn't otherwise use. Those are my favorite, though I've only been to KTV once. I'm no good at singing and don't really like singing in front of others, though that's such a big thing here. I don't have a go to karaoke song and I've learned that there are ways I'm comfortable socializing outside of karaoke and clubs. I've accepted that there are times that require I just put my discomfort aside for others to meet them partway, I've also learned the value of saying no and creating other opportunities that are more my pace. That and I've tried learning songs in Chinese. My Chinese isn't great, trying to use the right tone while singing is difficult, but when I try to speak without singing when it's a song I know well, I fall into the tune naturally and have to fight to just say it in a normal voice for a while. Tong Hua (Fairytale) is particularly hard to just read and say without thinking of the song's rhythm and pitch. Well, I've decided to come back for round 2 of teaching in China with WorldTeach. I'd still like to have the experience of teaching in China outside of WorldTeach so I sent the school I contacted an email saying thank you and explaining that I would be working in China for more experience, but would like to stay in touch as the idea of teaching college still interests me. I guess all I need to settle now is a summer job, where I'm staying in Kyoto, and if there's anything I need to do before returning to China to get a TEFL. I like what I'm doing now, and I don't know if it will be some lifelong passion but it's right for where I'm at and what I wanted when I graduated: experience, something related to language arts, something that would allow me to grow in intercultural competencies and communications, and of course, getting paid. It may not be a lot, but it more than covers my needs and I've gotten pretty good at saving and have a good sense of the cost of drinks, rice, and vegetables and my contract takes care of housing which is pretty big in terms of where the money goes.
I'm not going to deny that teaching on a private contract outside of WorldTeach is still tempting because I'd get paid a bit more each month (~5,000 seems to be about the average for teachers, though some places offer as much as 10,000 or 12,000 a month for native English speakers or teachers in bigger cities) and I wouldn't be limited to middle school. I have wondered at times if I'm better suited for high school or college than for middle school, but I do like the kids and all their questions, not to mention that they have something new to ask you every time they move on to a new unit in their book. It can get kind of tiring though to spend a week telling people that you like hamburgers but you don't think they're very healthy and that you get to school by walking everyday, especially when you have over 700 kids on the same textbook unit who will all be taking their tests on the exact same day at the same time. It's hard to explain to Chinese teachers sometimes that the American education system isn't uniform in quite the same way the Chinese educational system is (ie textbooks in America can differ from school to school depending on state requirements and what teachers identify as important for their particular school). I think I listened to one episode of Important Chinese Things with Jenny Zhu/ChinesePod and a woman talked about how she wasn't sure what to do when the school told her to make her own curriculum. I guess the teacher from our middle school who went to teach in the US for a year was also kind of startled that the school didn't decorate her classroom or her office for her, they gave her a room and she had to do it herself so my liaison and I talked about differences in hospitality in China and the US. Mostly that Chinese hospitality requires that you give so much attention to your guests that it's a little too much sometimes for Americans, but I guess just being given an empty room seems a little cold too. When I got invited to another teacher's apartment, I was really nervous about saying too much about what I liked because I sensed that it might turn into a "your wish is my command" kind of thing and the last thing I wanted was to take advantage of someone opening their home up to me. I felt a little less awkward when she told to cook something to share, which was good because it felt more fair to me than worrying that stating some small preference would turn into my host going some crazy distance to find something I'd mentioned in passing. It's hard sometimes though, there are things I want and just won't say it because I know if I'm out walking with another teacher and say that some street food smells really good, I run the risk of finding that my companion is determined to treat. My thoughts run through "Yes I want it. No, don't go to that trouble, I can get it myself. I'll just say no and come back another time, because I don't want this person to go to all that trouble but I don't want to insult them by making it obvious I'm refusing when I really want that cake." Maybe I make too much of it, but there really have been times when someone asked if I wanted to stop for some kind of cake and I said yes just to find that person buying it for me and not trying it themselves. There are times when China is incredibly direct, and times when you have to adjust your thinking to something...more circular? I don't know how to explain it, all I can really say is that this is a culture big on relationships and the work you have to put into creating and maintaining those ties. Maybe the word I'm looking for is reciprocal. I'm still thinking about the example we got during orientation of a phone call between two Chinese people, one American and one Chinese person, and two Americans. Basically, it was a phone call about going to the airport. In the call between the two Americans, one called to say she was going to the airport and the other said "Have a good time!" (the shared mentality being, that if this person wanted something, they would ask). In the same conversation between two Chinese people, it ended with an offer to drive the person to the airport (I will tell this person I am going and maybe they can offer me a ride/I should offer this person a ride because they are calling). And finally, the one between an American and a Chinese person in which, as you might guess a Chinese person calls expecting/hoping for an offer of a ride to the airport and the American unknowingly refuses by simply saying "Well, have a good time!". That example probably best encapsulates what I'm trying to get at. The difference between expecting someone to ask and expecting someone to offer. Hospitality and educational stuff aside, I've been asking myself what I like about China and what's harder to live with. Part of this is because my students ask if I like China and why, and I imagine it's a natural question given that they don't lead the easiest lives here. So here it goes: |
AuthorI'm a 3rd year WorldTeach volunteer. Archives
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